Summary: What happens when you have to let go of the boy you love all of a sudden?
Note: We had an assignment for English where we had to write a story (any story), then analyze it, and turn it in for a grade. So maybe a story I forced out and turned in for a grade isn’t that great ;P
Status: Complete
FictionPress: Link

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As she was walking home unaware of anything going on around her, she came upon the same, familiar path she had been avoiding for two days. That day she was trapped within her dismal world and had forgotten to take a different path home, since she walked this familiar path for years before. She slowly awakened from her numb state as she stared at her feet while she was softly walking along the side walk. Her half closed eyes widened and she took an intake of breath. Ripped pieces of note book papers were scattered everywhere. They were still there! A strong wind came along and noisily transported scraps of paper to the street beside the sidewalk. Her eyes unwillingly wandered to a corner of the side walk shaded by a tree. Her mouth slightly opened and she felt a stinging sensation in her eyes and nose. Tears ran down her face as she held her arms across her chest and ran through the side walk as fast as she could, with her brand new shoes shuffling against the fragments of paper.

It was a few days after her breakup with her ex-boyfriend. That sidewalk…he used to walk her home every day. Everything seemed right, with the birds chirping happily, the cars buzzing by, and the clouds floating serenely. However, the day of their breakup something didn’t seem right. It wasn’t exactly the best way to breakup, either. Her ex just suddenly put down the truth in front of her to gobble up, though he should have known that it would have been best to gradually reveal the truth and help her understand. No intelligent being dives into a pool of unknown water. They explore it first and slowly let themselves get used to it.

The boy didn’t even give her a reason for his heartbreaking decision. “I think it’d be best if we had some time apart,” were his words. “I’ll explain it all to you, I promise,” he continued. “Just meet me at the park at noon on Saturday.” And that was it. He left.

And so the once pleasurable walk home became into a dreary walk of nostalgia. The happy birds didn’t bring happy thoughts to her. Each bird seemed to have a happy home and a happy mate. The cars buzzing by were filled with happy couples. The clouds freely floating by seemed to be mocking her. Everybody seemed to be happy, everybody but her that is.

One day she finally grew tired of the path she took. She decided to take the path once more. Along with her she held letters in her hand. Each one had sweet words from her ex-boyfriend. Those words now seemed like lies. With both anger and sorrow bottled up inside of her, she tore each and every letter. She shredded them into tiny pieces. She scattered them along the sidewalk, the same path she always used to take, and bitterly walked home. With nothing left of her ex-boyfriend but memories, she felt a little freer, though she still felt a pain in her heart.

That was a long while ago. The boy never did meet the girl at the park. But even though it all occurred a long time ago Lina still felt the need to visit the same park every Saturday at noon. Perhaps she felt he would come.

That day finally did come, on a sunny Saturday.

“Hi. I’ve been expecting you.” she whispered sadly.

“Lina, how did you know it was me..?” he asked. Lina felt goose bumps form on her arms as she heard the boy’s voice.

“I know your presence anywhere, anytime,” she answered simply.

“…” Silence pierced the air.

Lina pressed her hands into the rock she was sitting on and stood up. She took a few breaths before turning around to face the boy she loved, the boy she hadn’t seen in a long time. “You know,” she spoke in a louder whisper, “it’s been 2 years.”

The boy seemed to stumble with his words. Maybe it was guilt forming in his mind. “Well…you…you understand right?”

“Oh yes. Life gets awfully busy. Life moves on…I know how it is.” She sighed. “Good bye.”

As she walked away the boy knew he lost her forever. She hadn’t even said his name once. In fact, she never spoke his name aloud or even in her mind.

Though she knew life went on, it was still a difficult task. She spent some nights crying, and some nights indulging on food to keep herself from her sad thoughts. She felt as though life didn’t matter anymore. Life only mattered when I had him… So she spent months, years living like that, in partial denial and partial depression.

It was a rainy day, one day, as Lina was walking home from school. The rain dropped from the sky and made little pitter patter sounds. Her hair was quickly getting soaked and her clothes were quite damp. It didn’t matter to her though, since she loved the rain. She felt like the rain was so similar to her. They were like tears, never-ending tears. Though she didn’t cry all the time, she knew those tears were inside of her. As for the rain, it had to stop eventually but someday it would rain again. It seemed as though they shared the same pain.

Footsteps sounded very close behind her, but Lina did not think anything of it, since she wasn’t the only student to walk home. It did seem a bit odd though…the streets were usually empty on rainy days. Most of the students were either already home or snuggled in their warm cars by the time Lina walked through the neighborhood.

She turned around to find Lance following her. “What’re you doing, Lance?”

“Um…I wanted to talk to you for a bit,” Lance said, looking embarrassed. He had his hands hidden behind his back.

Lina raised an eyebrow in interest. “Okay then.” She put a hand on her hip, shifted her weight to one side, and looked at Lance.

Lance pursed his lips. “Uh, here, please take this.” He handed her a red rose. Its stem was smooth and clear of thorns.

How cliché, she thought. She grabbed the flower anyway. She looked back at Lance, waiting for more.

He smiled. “I just…wanted to let you know how I feel. I really like you, Lina. You seem so sad sometimes…But sometimes I see you smile or I hear you laugh. I’d really like to make you smile and laugh more often. Seeing you happy would make me very happy.”

Lina felt something stir in her heart. She was afraid of what it was. Quickly, she turned around to hide her confused expression. Her grip tightened on the flower. Then her hand grew limp and the flower fell into the water. The water and rain carried it along the street until it fell into the sewer. With that she continued her walk home.

“Lina!” Lance yelled in a surprised voice. “I…don’t understand.” He sounded hurt.

“I don’t understand either,” she mumbled back.

She finally reached home and threw herself on her bed. The warm blanket gladly took her in. These feelings…all of them mixed together…it was too much for her. Pain. Sorrow. Love. Happiness. Confusion. She didn’t know what to make of it. Her thoughts circled around her old boyfriend, Lance, and her broken heart.

What does my ex-boyfriend have to do with this? she thought. He’s gone…it’s over…I guess my heart has never really stopped crying over him. But…I need to move on. He will always be a part of my past, but I don’t need to make him part of my future. The future is mine…

Lina walked towards her oak dresser. She glided her hand across the smooth wood. She opened the bottom drawer. She knew something was there. It was something she should have thrown out a long time ago. She only convinced herself it was not there, but she knew it was time to face the truth again. Her slender fingers dug through the contents of the drawer until she came upon a glittering necklace. It had a heart as a pendant. It rested in the palm of her hand, glinting in the light of her lamp.

She opened the door of her room with a slight creak and slipped quietly out of the house. Lina headed towards the same park once again. It was completely empty because of the down pour of the rain. She reached the end of a pond. It stretched out far beyond. Ducks and ducklings waddled across the water towards shelter under trees. Lina’s hand slid into her pocket and retrieved the necklace. She looked at it once more.

“I promise I’ll love you forever. And I’ll tell you everything…no secrets ever. You’re the only girl I’ll ever love.” Those words echoed in her mind. Along with these words Lina had also received the necklace from her ex-boyfriend. He is a jerk for doing this to me…he’s not worth it.

It’s over. But that’s okay. She dropped the necklace into the pond. It silently sank to the bottom, until it could no longer be seen under the murky water. That’s life for you. Things don’t have to be right the first time around…it can take many tries before it comes out right. And that’s okay, because you get to experience and learn so many things. You come out as a different person. Your life is shaped by these experiences. You come out stronger.

Once Lina slipped back into her room again she fell into a peaceful sleep on her bed. For once in a very long time, she slept without regret. No nightmares disturbed her sleep.

The next day Lina awakened to the sun beaming down on her bed. She felt like a flower and drank up the sun’s rays. As soon as she had breakfast with her family out of the way, she wrote a letter in her best handwriting. It was a letter for Lance.

“Dear Lance,

I’m sorry for the other day…I hope you can forgive me. You words were very sweet, and I really do feel the same about you. It’s true I’ve been feeling sad for a long time now, but I’m really to let that old sorrow go. And I’m ready to embrace my future. I hope my future includes you. Say, how about we make that happen by going out for ice cream tomorrow? You can call me at 555-4285.

XOXO,

Lina”

It being a Saturday, Lina walked to Lance’s house. She had been there once for a group project they had to do for history. She rang the doorbell and waited. She was hoping Lance would the one answering the door, but it was his mother. She flashed his mother a bright smile and asked to see Lance. Within a couple of minutes she saw Lance’s head leaning out to see who it was.

“Hi Lance,” Lina greeted.

“Oh…hey…”

“Uh, here, please take this.” Lina handed him the note. “Read it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You will?” inquired Lance.

“Yep!” she exclaimed as she happily walked back home.

She looked back behind her and saw Lance reading the letter, with a smile on his face. She smiled to herself and continued walking.

END

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Story Analysis

I submitted this story for my English class, so I had to write and include an analysis of it. Hopefully it will help others see what I wanted my story to convey more clearly

Setting

The setting takes place in various places. Generally, it takes place at the main character’s school, neighborhood and home, and the park nearby. The settings are important because here is where problems are presented to Lina, the main character. For example, the path home she used to take for years was then avoided because it brought back memories of her ex-boyfriend. It was a symbol of her past. When she meets a new boy that is a perfect match for her, she finds him during her walk home from school. In a sense, this represents the cycle her life goes through. She was walked home by her old ex-boyfriend and dumped. The new boy, Lance, made his first spoken move towards Lina while she was walking home. At first Lina is confused and frightened by this cycle, but she finally realizes it is worth the risk.

The park is important as well since it was where her ex-boyfriend promised to meet her to explain his decision. Although he never kept his promise of meeting her at the park, Lina kept coming at the same scheduled time for years, mostly in denial and false hope. At the end of the story, she finally is able to let go of her ex-boyfriend completely at the park.

Point-Of-View

I chose an “all-knowing” narrator, also known as an omniscient narrator, as the point-of-view for this short story. I feel this is the most effective narrator for this story because readers will be able to understand the story as fully as possible. With an omniscient narrator, readers are able to take a look into the past and into Lina’s mind and feelings. Also, an omniscient narrator gave me a chance to describe things Lina herself probably would not have noticed.

Plot Structure

The story begins with a flashback. I chose to begin like this because it was a way for me to lead the reader into the story, hopefully interested in what was going on. The flashbacks give the reader background information about Lina’s past. With these flashbacks, the reader can see that Lina had to deal with a breakup. Not only was it a breakup, it came as a shock to Lina and the boy gave no apparent reason either. He told her to meet him somewhere but he never came; so Lina continued life waiting for him and moping around. Finally, a new boy came into the story and gave her new thoughts and feelings to ponder. This adds to her list of complications and she is not sure if she is ready for a relationship with this new boy. The climax occurs after Lina has thought about everything and decided it was okay to let go of the past and look towards the future. Shortly after, the resolution occurs when Lina gives a letter to Lance, giving an apology and proposal to meet up again soon. With that, she is able to walk happily home satisfied with the present and near future.

Characterization

Lina is the protagonist of this narrative. The antagonists are Lina’s ex-boyfriend and Lina’s inner fears about love, sorrow, and the past. Lina is both a round and dynamic character. The reader can understand her thoughts and feel sympathy for her as if she were a real person. Her strength is visible because she solved a problem by herself. She changes throughout the story because in the beginning you can picture her as a sad girl avoiding things in life. She was stuck between denial and depression and her heart was slowly growing numb. However, the day Lance confessed his feelings to her, she woke up from that numb dream, where she grew scared and confused. Afterwards she has a battle in her mind until she realizes her strength and decides to give her future a chance. For Lina she has internal conflicts.

As for the ex-boyfriend, not once in the narrative was his name mentioned. At first it conveys Lina’s denial. It also shows her eagerness to forget him, although she just couldn’t seem to do it completely. Towards the end of the story, his name is still not mentioned, but this time it is because she finally let go of her ex-boyfriend completely. The reasoning for the breakup of Lina and her ex-boyfriend is never revealed, allowing the audience to understand Lina’s unanswered questions. In addition to this, it gives a sense of cruelness to her ex-boyfriend and allows the audience to have more sympathy for Lina. Therefore, Lina’s ex-boyfriend is a flat character and does not change throughout the story, but he helps drive the entire story.

Lance is a flat character. We can derive that he is kind and loving, but that’s basically it. Since Lance confessed his fondness for Lina, it is assumed that Lina and Lance have spent time together before. The fact that Lina knew where his house was (because of a school project) also proves this. No other traits and previous behaviors of Lance are revealed, so he is a static character. Although he is a simple character in this story, he is what nudges Lina to learn and move on.

Style

The very short sentences were meant to punctuate a sad fact or to create suspense for the coming text ahead. The beginning of the story was written with a darkness to it whereas the end of the story was written with optimism.

A part I added into the story was “No intelligent being dives into a pool of unknown water. They explore it first and slowly let themselves get used to it.” I did this to give readers a sense of how it should have been for Lina. Everybody wants to learn things slowly at first; it gives you a chance to understand what is happening and what cautions you should take.

Many things are symbols for Lina’s past like the old path home, the old love letters, and most importantly the necklace. Gradually Lina lets go of her past and the necklace was the final thing that she let go.

The pond at the park is an important symbol as well. Lina feels like the rain is full of sorrow and tears. When it rains these water drops gather together in the pond. Symbolically, the rain has gathered together its sorrow in one area, just like Lina and her sorrow buried in her heart. When Lina can finally let go, she drops the necklace into the pond and walks away, letting go of any sorrow left in her heart.

Also, there was one foreshadowing object in the story. The foreshadowing object was the rose Lance gave to Lina. Its stem was described as “smooth and clear of thorns.” This represents both Lance and Lina’s future as well. It foreshadows that Lance seems to be clear of troubles for Lina and that he is a match for her. Also, it foreshadows Lina’s future; her future looks clear and bright if she takes the right road.

When Lance confessed his feelings for Lina he had said nervously, “Uh, here, please take this,” while giving her the rose. When Lina, in turn, gave Lance a letter she had said the same words. This represents the balance of fondness and nervousness between the two.

Theme/Tone

The main theme is no matter how rough life can really be sometimes, it is important to realize your inner strength, let go of the past, and shape your future into what you want it to be. Fearing risks and basking in sorrow is okay at first, but eventually the time will come where you must open up to a “new life.”

In the beginning of the narrative I chose scenes and words to create a gloomy atmosphere. The glum mood mirrors Lina’s feelings. Then as Lina was slowly solving her own problem, there is a sense of hope and inner strength as well as satisfaction.